Nancy is considered a
person of great value to all authors of Regency era romances, as she knows a
lot about that period in England’s history and shares much with the members of the Beau
Monde chapter of the Romance Writers of America
Nancy’s education is in English and she has been a
teacher of both grade school and college courses. But we know her as a teacher of courses on the Regency era for Romance Writers of America.
She says her interest in researching the Regency era grew
out of her first attempts at writing Regency romances when she discovered she didn’t
have a clue about titles or the real history of those times.
She is a member of the Beau Monde and Hearts through History
chapters of RWA, the Jane Austen Society of North America and the Byron
Society. She was the regional coordinator, organizer and leader of the Atlanta
chapter of the Jane Austen Society for fourteen years.
In recognition of her many contributions, she had been awarded
the Lady of the Realm Award of the Beau Monde chapter of RWA. Nancy says she spends
most of her time studying the history and laws of the time period, especially the laws
concerning marriage.
At my invitation, Nancy is sharing with us today the proper
way to conduct introductions in the Regency era.
Introductions in the
Regency Era by Nancy Meyer
The people of Regency England were much more formal about
introductions than we are. First names of men were not usually mentioned. Only
his wife, mother, and sisters needed to know the first name of a peer. Boys
were called by surnames or titles at school. Boys with titles and courtesy
titles were called these from birth. One used full names and titles when
introducing people. Even long time friends might not know a school friend’s
first name.
The rules were few…
As a general consideration, these rules apply to the upper
gentry and higher ranks. They do not apply when dealing with innkeepers, sales
men, shopkeepers and laborers. In such cases one informs the one of superior
rank of the identity of the other but no one is asked permission to present
anyone.
Royalty had its own protocol and rules. Usually one didn't
speak to a royal without permission and introductions were made formally at
Levees and Drawing rooms.
But generally…
You would ask a lady if you might introduce a man to her.
She could say “no.” So one needs to have an idea if the two people will be
acceptable to an introduction.
One asked a superior in age or rank if one could present a
person of lower rank.
A lady didn't usually shake hands but, if she did, she was
the one to initiate a handshake.
Curtseys and bows
The depth of the curtsey and the bow were different for
different ranks of superiors One had to get down on one's knee before royalty,
but others usually didn't require a curtsey or bow of such depth.
Children and Ladies
Children of the aristocracy were trained in such things from
birth. Children curtseyed and bowed to all adults of their social standing and above
and those placed in authority over them.
They were usually told “Stephen and Sarah, make your bows to
the Earl and Countess of Whatever”. The guests should know what titles the
children bore and there would be no need for further information.
Gentlemen bowed to equals and superiors and to all ladies. They
didn't kiss the hand of any except royalty or a mother, grandmother, wife, or
mistress. A young bachelor might kiss the hand of an older dowager in a
flirtatious way, but to do so with a younger woman would be taken as evidence
of a forthcoming proposal. [Regan's note: Regency romances often deviate from this rule for the sake of the story...]
Ladies married to peers curtseyed to high church officials
like bishops and archbishops and to royalty. Peeresses did not curtsey to each
other.
A very young bride of a baron might curtsey to dowager
duchess as a salute to age but wives of peers didn't usually curtsey to each
other. An inclination of the head and handshakes, smiles and other methods of
greeting each other were used.
Outside of the nobility, women curtseyed to those of higher
rank.
Using Full Titles
When people were introduced, it was considered polite to use
their full titles. If the two people were at a place where they could be
expected to see each other fairly often something about the person should be
added.
To illustrate:
“Grandmother, may I present the Marquess of
Boston? He is engaged to Lady Anne Bolton.”
"Lord Boston, the Dowager Countess of Seeham." (This is needed because the marquess couldn't call the woman "grandmother".)
"Lady Nelson, may I present Mr. Gower? He is the son of Lord Crabapple."
When there is great disparity in rank or age, the younger or
one with lower rank is presented to the one of greater age and higher status.
So while the general rule is that one presents gentlemen to ladies, sometimes a
young lady might be presented to an aged duke.
Dukes and Duchesses
All the peers and their wives under the rank of duke and duchess
can be spoken to or about as Lord or Lady [title]. A duke and duchess are never
ever addressed as Lord or Lady. Most formally a duke is “The Most Noble Duke of
Somewhere”, addressed as “Your Grace”.
Archbishops of Canterbury
and York
The Archbishops of Canterbury and York are also addressed as
“Your Grace”. Archbishops are not peers, but take the precedence of dukes after
the royal family. He is “His Grace, the Archbishop of Canterbury.”
The wife of an
archbishop goes by his secular title, for example:
“Your Grace, Mrs. Manners, may I present
Captain Lord Stoval of the Royal Navy?”
Then one can say, “Lord Stovall is my brother in law.”
“Stovall, His Grace the Archbishop of
Canterbury and his wife, Mrs. Manners.”
(This last
can be omitted, of course, if you have told your brother in law that you would
introduce him to the archbishop.)
Baronets and Knights
Baronets and Knights are both “Sir First Name”, and
examples: Sir Thomas Bertram, Sir William Lucas. Their wives are Lady Bertram
and Lady Lucas.
“Sir Thomas, Lady Bertram, may I present Henry
Crawford?”
But, if the wife has her own title, she is introduced by it:
“Lady Catherine, Sir Louis, may I present Mr. Collins as a worthy incumbent for
the living at…?”
Clergymen
Generally clergymen are introduced by their names, such as “Mr.
Austen” or “Mr. Smith”. One can add, “He is rector of the parish”, or “rector
of St. Anne's”, or “the local vicar”. One does not addresses him as “reverend”.
Naval and Military Officers
Naval and military officers are usually introduced by their
rank. If a man also has a peerage or courtesy title, his naval or military
title comes first: “Colonel, the Earl of Someplace” or “Major Lord Blackwell.
In Pride and Prejudice, Wickham was introduced to Mrs. Bennet and her daughters:
“Mrs.
Bennet, may I present Mr. Wickham who is here with the —shire Militia. "
Mrs. Bennet
would have the choice of introducing her daughters or not.
“Mr. Wickham, my daughters, Miss
Bennet, Miss Elizabeth, Miss Mary, Miss Kitty, and Miss Lydia.”
If she didn't want her
daughters to be known to him she would give a cool nod, recognizing his
presence but no more. If she wished to give him the “cut direct” she could
either tell the one making the introduction "No" or simply pretend
nothing had been said and walk away. That would be a drastic response and embarrassing
for all.
Making mistakes…
How one introduced someone could show one's own lack of
breeding or one's less than friendly opinion of a person. A curt repeat of the
names or an exquisitely polite exchange or more fulsome one. We all remember the scene from Pride and Prejudice when Mr. Collins rudely introduced himself.
While gentlemen usually introduced themselves to each other,
it was usually the privilege of the superior in rank to initiate the
introduction. In Pride and Prejudice, it was the
privilege of Mr. Darcy to introduce himself to Mr. Collins and not for Collins
to introduce himself. Mr. Collins stepped right into it, which horrified
Elizabeth.
Third persons introducing…
By introducing two people to each other,
one stands surety for each as being an honorable person. In the situation with
Mr. Collins, a third person might have introduced them:
“Mr. Darcy, may I
make Mr. Collins known to you? He has the living at Rosings.”
Also in Pride and
Prejudice, Darcy’s
good friend introduces Mrs. Bennet to Mr. Darcy:
“May I present my
friend, Mr. Darcy?”
At a ball, the host or hostess usually would not ask the
lady's permission to introduce a person as suitable for a partner. A man
couldn’t ask a lady to dance at a public assembly if they had not been
introduced, but these rules were not so strict at private balls where the roof
is supposed to be an introduction.
When a man and a woman are guests in a house and find
themselves in company with each other without a third person to introduce them,
they could introduce themselves. However, they could also have a conversation
without exchanging names. If they do give names, the man gives his title or
surname. He might add that he was the Vicar at St. Stephen’s Church, or a cousin
of their host. If he is in the army or navy he should give his rank.
Introductions were generally made under a roof and not on
the street or in a garden. If a man and lady met another man and lady on the
street they would not stop to exchange identities. And finally, a well-bred
young unmarried lady shouldn’t be walking down the street with a man not her
father or brother.
Feel free to ask Nancy a question about
introductions in the comments!
