A Reader’s Pet Peeves: The 10 that set me on edge every time!

It was bound to happen, right? You knew I’d finally get around to a list of things that really annoy me in reading historical (and other) romance. I’m not the only one who has these complaints, at least based on the Amazon reviews I read. Hopefully this will help authors who want to please their readers avoid some pitfalls.

Join me if you have a pet peeve I failed to mention. Here are my top 10:

1.     A cover that has nothing to do with the story. I realize the authors have little to do with this so it’s really a gripe at the publishers. But it is nonetheless valid. Examples abound: A handsome pirate with black hair and dark eyes on the cover, but the hero has blond hair and silver eyes! A Victorian costumed woman on the cover of a Restoration romance.  A Highlander in a plaid kilt centuries before they wore kilts. A heroine described as “plain and plump” but the cover shows her a beauty with a devastating figure. Please. Why is it the publishers think readers don’t notice? Well, we do and it’s irritating!

2.     A title that doesn’t describe the story or cheapens it. I know the publishers are selling romance like the cable outfits sell sex, but when they pick a dime store novel title just because it sounds like a book that is selling well, or they think the words “seduced,” “ravished,” or “in bed with” will make us buy it, to me it cheapens a serious historical romance. And don’t use words in the title that aren’t related to the story, like “pirate” if there’s no pirate in the romance (yes, I encountered one like that!), or “seduced” when there’s no seduction. The authors I’ve talked to hate it when publishers do this, though they have little say about it. That is sad, really. I have heard this from several authors, who I will not name for fear of getting them in trouble with their publishers, but still. Do the publishers think we readers would like the books any less if they used more honest, serious, worthy titles? (Like perhaps the one the author prefers?)

3.     Not enough emotion to engage mine. Witty dialog, clever storylines and great hooks may be preferred by today’s publishers, but if you can’t engage my emotions, if you can’t make me care, I won’t be rating the book 5 stars. And it takes time to build characters, to tell me why I should love or hate them. Only some authors get my 5 star emotional rating: Penelope Williamson (a two-Kleenex box author), Kathleen Givens, Nadine Crenshaw, Marsha Canham, Betina Krahn and Iris Johansen, to name some of them.

4.     Simpering, whiny or weak heroines. Some people might like the weak, simpering females. Not me. I like my heroines with backbone. Not snippy, mind you, but courageous. Inspire me with heroines who think, women who won’t be dictated to, who rise to meet life’s challenges and you just might make me a fan. A good example is Sarah in BROKEN ARROW by Judith James. She is one of the best heroines out there: strong, compassionate, a unique individual who swims against the tide—and a woman who fights for her love. Another is Fallon in PRINCESS OF FIRE by Heather Graham (aka Shannon Drake), who refused to be cowered in the face of William the Conqueror. Or, there is Rachel in Penelope Williamson's THE OUTSIDER. My reviews are replete with other examples. There is no quicker way to turn me off to a story than to make the heroine a whimpering, whiny female. (I could give you examples of those, too.) And it doesn’t make up for it if later in the story she suddenly becomes a Valkyrie. Not buying it. Mind you, it’s ok if she cries for a valid reason. People do. But if she is constantly teary eyed and whimpering, or snippy in the extreme, I won’t read another by that author.

5.     Contrived plot elements. I’m reading along, enjoying a great romance when suddenly, wham, out of nowhere something happens that just doesn’t fit—and isn’t believable. I know it’s romance, but it has to be natural…not contrived just to get the story moving in a certain direction. This is really important and can turn me off to an author quicker than anything. I have found that authors who engage in this do so again and again. I won’t mention names but suffice it to say these are the ones I’ve given 2 or 3 stars to on Amazon; and they are not on my “Best” lists.

6.     A research dump. I really appreciate it when the historical romance reflects the author’s thorough research. I can always tell and I give them high marks for it in my reviews. But don’t dump everything you learned into long passages in the story. If the heroine is a potter, I don’t need the encyclopedia version of everything there is to know about pottery—or fossils, or painting, or stone masonry, etc. I don’t need to go back to school. If I want more details, I’ll look them up. I can give you many authors who incorporate their research very well. A few whose names come to mind are Heather Graham (aka Shannon Drake), Nadine Crenshaw, Marsha Canham, Elizabeth Stuart, Meredith Duran, Judith James, Kathleen Givens, Cynthia Wright and Penelope Williamson.

7.     Moral lectures disguised as romance. Yes, I know poverty existed in the past centuries (as it does now), and I don’t mind if this is reflected in the story, but don’t lecture me on the importance of being socially responsible. Don’t lecture me on the evils of slavery, natural healers that aren’t really witches, the benefits of vegetarianism, being charitable to the poor, etc. I get it. Reflect it, but don’t moralize. If you feel strongly, write an editorial, not a romance.

8.     A character acting inconsistently. You know this one…a smart, savvy heroine who suddenly does something really stupid. In once romance I read, the heroine, who had been pretty smart up until this point, suddenly goes along with an abduction. Doesn’t scream, doesn’t fight. Nada. It was so disappointing it threw off my whole feeling about the story. Or, consider the hero who has always been a noble, forthright guy, who suddenly believes the worst about the heroine with no real evidence or provocation. Ugh!

9.     Manufactured sexual tension. It’s gotta be real. It should come naturally out of the circumstances and the lives of the characters, but in some 2 and 3 star romances, it comes out of thin air. That will sour me on a story quicker than anything. You know what I’m talking about: arguments that should never have happened; misunderstandings any normal human being would clear up with one sentence—those things! I give highest marks to an author who has an intriguing plot that naturally develops and holds my attention, one who does not throw a wrench into the works merely to separate the hero and heroine.

10.  Love scenes that don’t match the characters or are the same in every one of the author’s books. If the heroine is an innocent virgin and suddenly she is seducing the hero with moves like a practiced courtesan (and especially the word “Please” as a euphemism for “do it now”), you just lost me. The love scene has to match the people involved and their experience. If you want a courtesan’s moves, then make the heroine an experienced woman of the night. A failure to match the love scene to the characters can be subtle. If the heroine is insecure and her past reflects bad experiences with men, she isn’t going to jump into bed with the hero and take the initiative in lovemaking. No way. It must seem like the kind of love scene these two people would share. And, please don’t make all your love scenes the same in every book you write!